When I Was Young
--
When I was young, time merged together like mist on the mountains. Life was free and without a care, because I didn’t have this heavy burden on my shoulders.
It weighs me down and I’ll never be free of it, never.
When I was young, the flowers still bloomed in bright colors, but now everything’s faded to a dull pastel set. Life will never be the same, not after that.
That.
I can see you in front of me now, asking me what’s that, but I can’t tell you. If I tell you the last remnants of my fragile world will collapse around me.
When I was young, my dreams were of superheroes and saving the world. Now the nights are either sleepless or filled with bloody nightmares which wake me from slumber.
But that was when I was young.
You’re asking more questions now, asking why I’m having nightmares, why I can’t tell you. If I tell you why I can’t tell you, then I’ll end up telling you.
I can’t have that.
Not now.
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Author's Comments
I'm doing my own 100 Themes Challenge. Prose and Poetry.
I'm doing them in random order. I have the urge to make the narrator be similar to Detective Mac Taylor off of CSI: NY. XD but that would mean making it into a story... -facepalm- Edit: YES I KNOW I PUT 'WHEN I WAS YOUNG' WAY TOO MANY TIMES. I DON'T CARE BECAUSE I WANT THEM THERE. XD 1. With or Without You- U2 2. Green Tambourine- The Lemon Pipers 3. Anniversary – The Pogues 4. I Ain’t Marchin’ Anymore- Phil Ochs 5. Let It Rock- The Animals 6. American Pie- Don McLean 7. And It Stoned Me- Van Morrison 8. Paths of Victory- The Byrds 9. Waiting in Vain- Bob Marley & the Wailers 10. White Rabbit- Jefferson Airplane 11. Crimson & Clover- Tommy James & the Shondells 12. Ramblin’ Man- The Allman Brothers Band 13. Bright Side of the Road- Van Morrison 14. Hey Tonight- Creedence Clearwater Revival 15. San Francisco (Be Sure To Wear Flowers In Your Hair)- Scott McKenzie 16. I Heard It Through the Grapevine- Creedence Clearwater Revival 17. Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood- The Animals 18. Gloria- Van Morrison 19. My Back Pages- The Byrds 20. Cotton Fields- Creedence Clearwater Revival 21. Stir It Up- Bob Marley and the Wailers 22. Lodi- Creedence Clearwater Revival 23. Talk to Me- Southside Johnny & the Asbury Jukes 24. Where Have All the Flowers Gone- The Kingston Trio 25. We Gotta Get Out of This Place- The Animals 26. Gonna Send You Back To Walker- The Animals 27. Turkish Song of the Damned- The Pogues 28. Turn, Turn, Turn! (To Everything There Is a Season)- The Byrds 29. I’m a Man- The Yardbirds 30. Sweet Hitch-Hiker- Creedence Clearwater Revival 31. Battle March Medley- The Pogues 32. Have You Seen Her Face- The Byrds 33. Have You Ever Seen the Rain – Creedence Clearwater Revival 34. These Eyes- The Guess Who 35. Blue Sky- The Allman Brothers Band 36. When the Ship Comes In- The Pogues 37. The Weight- The Band 38. Baby Let Me Take You Home- The Animals 39. Brown-Eyed Girl- Van Morrison 40. I Will Follow- U2 41. People Got to Be Free- The Rascals 42. Lay Down (Candles in the Rain)- Melanie Safka & the Edwin Hawkins Singers 43. Susie-Q- Creedence Clearwater Revival 44. What About Me?- Quicksilver Messenger Service 45. Cold-Blooded Woman- Savoy Brown 46. Someday Never Comes- Creedence Clearwater Revival 47. A Whiter Shade of Pale- Procol Harum 48. Incense and Peppermints- Strawberry Alarm Clock 49. Bad Moon Rising- Creedence Clearwater Revival 50. The Day They Drove Old Dixie Down- The Band 51. Moondance- Van Morrison 52. Sunday Bloody Sunday- U2 53. Commotion- Creedence Clearwater Revival 54. Lullaby of London- The Pogues 55. I Ain’t Got You- The Yardbirds 56. It’s a Bloody Life- Brian Augur; Jimmy Page 57. Amadie- The Pogues 58. It’s My Life- The Animals 59. The Midnight Special- Creedence Clearwater Revival 60. Don’t Look Now- Creedence Clearwater Revival 61. Pride (In the Name of Love)- U2 62. Proud Mary- Creedence Clearwater Revival 63. The Irish Rover- The Pogues 64. I’m Coming Home- Ten Years After 65. Closer to Home- Grand Funk Railroad 66. Do You Believe in Magic?- Lovin’ Spoonful 67. Rollin’ and Tumblin’- Johnny Winter 68. Jammin’- Bob Marley & the Wailers 69. Bottle of Smoke- The Pogues 70. Jackie Wilson Said (I’m in Heaven When You Smile)- Van Morrison 71. Living in a World Without Her- The Pogues 72. In the Year 2525- Zager & Evans 73. I Feel So Good- Jo-Ann Kelly 74. Ride My See-Saw- The Moody Blues 75. See See Rider- The Animals 76. Someday Baby- Cyril Davies 77. Could You Be Loved- Bob Marley & the Wailers 78. Travelin’ Band- Creedence Clearwater Revival 79. Gimme Some Lovin’- The Spencer Davis Group 80. Something in the Air- Thunderclap Newman 81. Universal Soldier- Donovan 82. Time of the Season- The Zombies 83. Here Comes the Night- Van Morrison 84. All I Really Want to Do- The Byrds 85. Tribute to Elmore- Eric Clapton; Jimmy Page 86. Bright Lights- The Pogues 87. Jeff’s Blues- The Yardbirds 88. How Come- The Pogues 89. Heaven Knows- The Grass Roots 90. Lady Friend- The Byrds 91. The Unforgettable Fire- U2 92. I’m Crying- The Animals 93. Love That Never Dies- The Byrds 94. For Your Love- The Yardbirds 95. Melissa- The Allman Brothers Band 96. Wasted Words- The Allman Brothers Band 97. Wild Night- Van Morrison 98. Dirty Old Town- The Pogues 99. When I Was Young- The Animals 100. California Dreamin’- The Mamas and the Papas Comments
 Kinda sad and depressing, but yes I do like it.
--  "I'm awake I'm alive Now I know what I believe inside. Now it's my time, I'll do what I want cause this is my life. Right here, right now, I'll stand my ground and never back down. I know what I believe inside I'm awake and alive!" YAY THANKIES OOPS I AM WRITING IN CAPS LOCK
-- Out here in the fields I fight for my meals I get my back into my living I don't need to fight To prove I'm right I don't need to be forgiven ~Baba O'Riley- The Who Member~ =SongofthePoets, *TheWritersMeow, *BleedingHeartsPoetry COOL
-- "I'm awake I'm alive Now I know what I believe inside. Now it's my time, I'll do what I want cause this is my life. Right here, right now, I'll stand my ground and never back down. I know what I believe inside I'm awake and alive!" XP
-- Out here in the fields I fight for my meals I get my back into my living I don't need to fight To prove I'm right I don't need to be forgiven ~Baba O'Riley- The Who Member~ =SongofthePoets, *TheWritersMeow, *BleedingHeartsPoetry |
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Critiques
Haha, no, you're right in not making her do so - she seems quite the guarded type. Disillusioned and not quite so naive.
This is very well written. That's some good imagery and symbolism. Pulls you in from the very first phrase.
I like how you've ended it. And how you've explained the.. utter lack of explanation you're offering the reader. xD
Huh, does "Not now" imply there might be some revelation in the future? You've got me wondering...
I think that's the strength of this short piece - how you make the reader curious about the personality you're presenting with so few words. And the afore-mentioned symbolism, of course.
And I don't think you repeat 'when I was young' too many times. I mean, sure, it's there a LOT, but it doesn't distract. I rather think the repitition adds to it, in fact.
An intruiging, enjoyable read.
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