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When I Was Young

--

When I was young, time merged together like mist on the mountains. Life was free and without a care, because I didn’t have this heavy burden on my shoulders.

It weighs me down and I’ll never be free of it, never.

When I was young, the flowers still bloomed in bright colors, but now everything’s faded to a dull pastel set. Life will never be the same, not after that.

That.

I can see you in front of me now, asking me what’s that, but I can’t tell you. If I tell you the last remnants of my fragile world will collapse around me.

When I was young, my dreams were of superheroes and saving the world. Now the nights are either sleepless or filled with bloody nightmares which wake me from slumber.

But that was when I was young.

You’re asking more questions now, asking why I’m having nightmares, why I can’t tell you. If I tell you why I can’t tell you, then I’ll end up telling you.

I can’t have that.

Not now.
©2009 *Silvaz
:iconsilvaz:

Author's Comments

I'm doing my own 100 Themes Challenge. Prose and Poetry.

I'm doing them in random order.

I have the urge to make the narrator be similar to Detective Mac Taylor off of CSI: NY. XD but that would mean making it into a story... -facepalm-

Edit: YES I KNOW I PUT 'WHEN I WAS YOUNG' WAY TOO MANY TIMES. I DON'T CARE BECAUSE I WANT THEM THERE. XD


1. With or Without You- U2
2. Green Tambourine- The Lemon Pipers
3. Anniversary – The Pogues
4. I Ain’t Marchin’ Anymore- Phil Ochs
5. Let It Rock- The Animals
6. American Pie- Don McLean
7. And It Stoned Me- Van Morrison
8. Paths of Victory- The Byrds
9. Waiting in Vain- Bob Marley & the Wailers
10. White Rabbit- Jefferson Airplane
11. Crimson & Clover- Tommy James & the Shondells
12. Ramblin’ Man- The Allman Brothers Band
13. Bright Side of the Road- Van Morrison
14. Hey Tonight- Creedence Clearwater Revival
15. San Francisco (Be Sure To Wear Flowers In Your Hair)- Scott McKenzie
16. I Heard It Through the Grapevine- Creedence Clearwater Revival
17. Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood- The Animals
18. Gloria- Van Morrison
19. My Back Pages- The Byrds
20. Cotton Fields- Creedence Clearwater Revival
21. Stir It Up- Bob Marley and the Wailers
22. Lodi- Creedence Clearwater Revival
23. Talk to Me- Southside Johnny & the Asbury Jukes
24. Where Have All the Flowers Gone- The Kingston Trio
25. We Gotta Get Out of This Place- The Animals
26. Gonna Send You Back To Walker- The Animals
27. Turkish Song of the Damned- The Pogues
28. Turn, Turn, Turn! (To Everything There Is a Season)- The Byrds
29. I’m a Man- The Yardbirds
30. Sweet Hitch-Hiker- Creedence Clearwater Revival
31. Battle March Medley- The Pogues
32. Have You Seen Her Face- The Byrds
33. Have You Ever Seen the Rain – Creedence Clearwater Revival
34. These Eyes- The Guess Who
35. Blue Sky- The Allman Brothers Band
36. When the Ship Comes In- The Pogues
37. The Weight- The Band
38. Baby Let Me Take You Home- The Animals
39. Brown-Eyed Girl- Van Morrison
40. I Will Follow- U2
41. People Got to Be Free- The Rascals
42. Lay Down (Candles in the Rain)- Melanie Safka & the Edwin Hawkins Singers
43. Susie-Q- Creedence Clearwater Revival
44. What About Me?- Quicksilver Messenger Service
45. Cold-Blooded Woman- Savoy Brown
46. Someday Never Comes- Creedence Clearwater Revival
47. A Whiter Shade of Pale- Procol Harum
48. Incense and Peppermints- Strawberry Alarm Clock
49. Bad Moon Rising- Creedence Clearwater Revival
50. The Day They Drove Old Dixie Down- The Band
51. Moondance- Van Morrison
52. Sunday Bloody Sunday- U2
53. Commotion- Creedence Clearwater Revival
54. Lullaby of London- The Pogues
55. I Ain’t Got You- The Yardbirds
56. It’s a Bloody Life- Brian Augur; Jimmy Page
57. Amadie- The Pogues
58. It’s My Life- The Animals
59. The Midnight Special- Creedence Clearwater Revival
60. Don’t Look Now- Creedence Clearwater Revival
61. Pride (In the Name of Love)- U2
62. Proud Mary- Creedence Clearwater Revival
63. The Irish Rover- The Pogues
64. I’m Coming Home- Ten Years After
65. Closer to Home- Grand Funk Railroad
66. Do You Believe in Magic?- Lovin’ Spoonful
67. Rollin’ and Tumblin’- Johnny Winter
68. Jammin’- Bob Marley & the Wailers
69. Bottle of Smoke- The Pogues
70. Jackie Wilson Said (I’m in Heaven When You Smile)- Van Morrison
71. Living in a World Without Her- The Pogues
72. In the Year 2525- Zager & Evans
73. I Feel So Good- Jo-Ann Kelly
74. Ride My See-Saw- The Moody Blues
75. See See Rider- The Animals
76. Someday Baby- Cyril Davies
77. Could You Be Loved- Bob Marley & the Wailers
78. Travelin’ Band- Creedence Clearwater Revival
79. Gimme Some Lovin’- The Spencer Davis Group
80. Something in the Air- Thunderclap Newman
81. Universal Soldier- Donovan
82. Time of the Season- The Zombies
83. Here Comes the Night- Van Morrison
84. All I Really Want to Do- The Byrds
85. Tribute to Elmore- Eric Clapton; Jimmy Page
86. Bright Lights- The Pogues
87. Jeff’s Blues- The Yardbirds
88. How Come- The Pogues
89. Heaven Knows- The Grass Roots
90. Lady Friend- The Byrds
91. The Unforgettable Fire- U2
92. I’m Crying- The Animals
93. Love That Never Dies- The Byrds
94. For Your Love- The Yardbirds
95. Melissa- The Allman Brothers Band
96. Wasted Words- The Allman Brothers Band
97. Wild Night- Van Morrison
98. Dirty Old Town- The Pogues
99. When I Was Young- The Animals
100. California Dreamin’- The Mamas and the Papas

Critiques


:icontoaakatsuki:
Aww, now I'm annoyed cause you won't tell me what that is. Come on, couldn't the narrator have let it slip? ;)

Haha, no, you're right in not making her do so - she seems quite the guarded type. Disillusioned and not quite so naive.

This is very well written. That's some good imagery and symbolism. Pulls you in from the very first phrase.

I like how you've ended it. And how you've explained the.. utter lack of explanation you're offering the reader. xD

Huh, does "Not now" imply there might be some revelation in the future? You've got me wondering...

I think that's the strength of this short piece - how you make the reader curious about the personality you're presenting with so few words. And the afore-mentioned symbolism, of course.

And I don't think you repeat 'when I was young' too many times. I mean, sure, it's there a LOT, but it doesn't distract. I rather think the repitition adds to it, in fact.

An intruiging, enjoyable read. :)
The Artist thought this was FAIR
3 out of 3 deviants thought this was fair.

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:iconsilent-heart13:
Kinda sad and depressing, but yes I do like it.

--
:blackrose: "I'm awake I'm alive Now I know what I believe inside. Now it's my time, I'll do what I want cause this is my life. Right here, right now, I'll stand my ground and never back down. I know what I believe inside I'm awake and alive!" :blackrose:
:iconsilvaz:
YAY THANKIES OOPS I AM WRITING IN CAPS LOCK

--
Out here in the fields
I fight for my meals
I get my back into my living
I don't need to fight
To prove I'm right
I don't need to be forgiven


~Baba O'Riley- The Who

Member~ =SongofthePoets, *TheWritersMeow, *BleedingHeartsPoetry
:iconsilent-heart13:
COOL

--
:blackrose: "I'm awake I'm alive Now I know what I believe inside. Now it's my time, I'll do what I want cause this is my life. Right here, right now, I'll stand my ground and never back down. I know what I believe inside I'm awake and alive!" :blackrose:
:iconsilvaz:
XP

--
Out here in the fields
I fight for my meals
I get my back into my living
I don't need to fight
To prove I'm right
I don't need to be forgiven


~Baba O'Riley- The Who

Member~ =SongofthePoets, *TheWritersMeow, *BleedingHeartsPoetry

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July 16
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